If I had an... Octopus

I tried to get him to serve the tea

What a mistake

The cups got all slimy—And so did the cake

Eight legs

Do not a butler make

I tried to get him to fix us dinner

What a flop

He cracked all the eggs and proceeded to drop

Every bowl

Until I told him to stop

I tried to get him to fold the laundry

What a blunder

He tied things in knots, over and under

And split

My brand new undies asunder

So I gave up trying to put him to work

What luck

‘Cause it turns out his talent is giving hugs

Wrapped those arms around my waist

Felt great!

Finally, finally we found a purpose

For our clumsy octopus.