If I had a... Beard

Illustration by ME

My face is smooth and rather bland

With hardly a hair in sight.

There’s a tiny hint of peach fuzz

On the left cheek and the right.

But IF I had a BEARD,

Oh, the things that I could do.

Just imagine all the knick-knacks

That I could store inside it too.

There’d be a place for all my pens

And if I styled it with gel

There’d be a special shelf

For all my notebooks there, as well.

I’d have cubbies for all my favorite snacks

Plus a drawer for salt and spices,

Just in case I need some seasoning

On my buttered French Toast slices.

And then, of course, there’d be a place

For all my feathered friends,

A soft brown nest with

Leave and branches

For sparrows, chickadees, and wrens.

They’d sing me songs

And fetch me treats

And keep me groomed and sleek,

‘Cause it takes a lot of time

To keep this mane coiffed and chic.

Oh, if I only had a beard

All my problems would be gone,

But for now I guess I’ll keep this face

With just this peach fuzz on it.