If I had a... Dozen

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If I had a dozen arms,

I’d put a pencil in each hand

And watch while they scratched happily

Creating something grand.

If I had a dozen cats,

I’d give them old-fashioned names

And dress them up in top hats

And monocles with ivory frames.

If I had a dozen feet,

I’d caper an Irish jig

And make the people from late night shows

Call to book me for their gigs.

If I had a dozen tall white horses,

I’d gallop them in a line

And jump with grace from back to back

With my favorite trained canine.

If I had a dozen kids,

I’d rent a giant circus tent

And teach them all to juggle and flip

To their hearts’ content.

If I had a dozen pennies

Well that would be sort of dumb

Because what can you get for less than a quarter

Besides a stick of gum?